In love? It's not enough to keep a marriage!

There's been a recent study that proves this to be the case. I can tell you from my own experience that this is the case! I've been married four (4) times. The first three were for self-centered reasons, and the current (4th) was for God-centered reasons. Without Christ as a center-piece of our marriage this too would have ended. Why? For the same reasons the other three did!

Here's what I personally garnered from the article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090714/lf_nm_life/us_couples (The study, entitled "What's Love Got to Do With It," tracked nearly 2,500 couples -- married or living together -- from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated.) .....

Our children DID influence the longevity of my marriages
"Partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage." (definitely a factor in relationship 2, marriage 2 and 3)
Not surprisingly, money also plays a role, with up to 16 percent of respondents who indicated they were poor or where the husband -- not the wife -- was unemployed saying they had separated, compared with only nine percent of couples with healthy finances. (I've made a very good living off of this factor [I founded a Bill Payment/Debt Management Company] and it was a huge factor in failed marriage #3).

Why the use of blue and pink lettering in my above conclusions? Because some years back my present wife and I attended a marriage seminar and the presenter pointed out that men see life through "blue lenses" and women see it through "pink lenses" or as another author put it one faction is from Mars and the other from Venus. The challenge for a successful marriage is for both to first of all recognize and acknowledge these profound differences and then make a "commitment" to work toward seeing life through "purple lenses" (pink + blue = purple). It's not a perfect science or art by any means and therefore it DOES TAKE COMMITMENT! And many times you need a referee to help with the compromise "color" - for me (very stubborn and self-centered) the Holy Bible and a commitment to follow Christ has been the referee I needed.

What about you and your spouse? Have you read the article? Are you committed to each other? Are you willing to be self-less and compromise for the sake of the other? Have you got the best referee in the world to help resolve "color blindness"?

May God bless each of you ...

Ray Delworth
billpayer1@netzero.net
http://WiiLoveWebkinzFun.biz

Staying Upbeat

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A Birthday Tribute to my Wife

My lovely wife's birthday is today .... she loves the Beatles .... so how appropriate would it be for them to sing her the birthday song. Much better them than me!

Click The Play button below for a special presentation...



To see a special and rare Music Video of the Beatles singing "Happy Birthday" then click here.

Why Suze Orman is wrong -- again

(reprint from Liz Pullium Weston)
I, having retired as a Personal Financial Planner with the leading Financial Planning firm in the USA, agree with Liz. I have a handful of clients that I continue to provide bill payment/debt management services, and I follow this advice.

"Pay just the minimum on your credit cards? For most people, this advice from media personality Orman is simply a bad idea.
[Related content: debt, debt reduction, credit cards, spending, Liz Pulliam Weston]
By Liz Pulliam Weston
MSN Money
Credit card debt is a cancer that eats away at your finances, costing you a fortune in finance charges and leaving you vulnerable to issuers that can raise your rates or lower your credit limits at will.
So why is Suze Orman telling you to stop paying down this debt?
Orman, the author of multiple personal-finance best-sellers and host of a popular CNBC show, last month advised her fans who don't have "fully funded" emergency accounts to start paying only the minimums on their credit card debts and instead route any extra money into savings.
The bold directive makes for a great sound bite. I just wish it were good advice.
What else Suze Orman gets wrong
Right now, paying just your minimums is exactly the kind of behavior that will attract unwanted attention from the credit card issuers Orman is warning you about.
Yes, there's a credit shortage Now, Orman is absolutely right that the credit climate has dramatically changed in the past year.
Until recently, paying down your revolving accounts -- credit cards and lines of credit -- was considered a win-win: You saved on interest, and you freed up credit that could be used again in an emergency."

But these days, lenders are cutting off access to credit just when people are likely to need it most. Bankers are freezing or lowering limits on credit cards and home equity lines of credit or closing accounts altogether. One banking analyst has predicted that card issuers will cut total limits by more than half in the coming months.
Talk back: What do you think of Orman's advice?
Meanwhile, few families have enough savings to get through even a short stretch of unemployment. Hence Orman's advice to hoard cash. She's not the only one encouraging that strategy. Debt expert Steve Rhode, the founder of GetOutOfDebt.org, recently echoed her advice. And Wall Street Journal columnist Brett Arends went even further. He recently suggested borrowing against credit cards and using the cash to boost your emergency fund, writing that for those who don' t have sufficient savings, "some of the normal rules no longer apply."
Why this strategy can backfire There are plenty of problems with these kinds of bridge-burning approaches, however. They assume the worst will happen, when it probably won't.
Meanwhile, you're paying significant costs.
It can take years for many families to accumulate the eight-month stash of cash that Orman advises people to have for emergencies. If you abandon your debt repayment plans until you have that much saved up, you could:
Pay unnecessary interest.
Risk damage to your credit scores.
Make yourself even more vulnerable to lenders' whims.

The biggest problem with paying only the minimum these days is that it brands you as a high-risk customer, much like someone who maxes out his or her cards. Lenders, desperate to reduce their risks, are more likely to yank back credit lines or raise rates on any customer they consider at higher risk of default.
If that happens, there can be a domino effect. Lower credit limits can hurt your credit scores, because any balance you have looms larger in the scoring formulas. Lower scores can lead other lenders to consider you high-risk, increasing the chances they'll change your rates and terms or make future credit harder to get.
Facebook users: Become a fan of Liz Pulliam Weston
And now, more than ever, you should protect your credit scores. People with mediocre or poor scores are missing out on some of the best interest rates on loans since the 1950s, and they pay more for insurance as well, because most insurers use credit information to determine premiums.
Good scores, by contrast, get you better deals on loans as well as the power to fight back against rate increases and lower limits.

When Orman is right There are circumstances where paying the minimum or, preferably, just a bit more, is the best of bad options. That's true if:
You've been or are about to be laid off. In general, you want to hoard cash when you lose your job. You should cut expenses, look for other sources of income and delay debt repayment plans until you're back on your feet.
You're on the financial brink. If you're living paycheck to paycheck, you have no savings and a layoff would send you over the edge, then paying minimums may be appropriate. Look for expenses you can cut and funnel the extra cash into savings. If you're in really deep, consider talking to a bankruptcy attorney and read "15 steps if bankruptcy is inevitable."
Your accounts have already been frozen. If you won't be freeing up additional credit by paying down your debt, putting that cash into savings might be the better option, especially if it's relatively low-rate debt.

If your situation isn't so dire, however, a more balanced approach might be the best course. That means:
Staying the course. Continue paying down credit card debt, but look for extra expenses to cut to pad your emergency fund as well.
Opening an escape hatch. If all your credit cards are with the same issuer, consider getting a card or two from different issuers so all your credit isn't in the hands of one lender.
Monitoring your accounts. Many lenders are trimming credit lines with little notice, so checking your credit limits at least once a month is good practice.
Pushing back. Card issuers are hoping you accept their changes without a fuss, but if you have good credit scores (FICOs of 720 or above), you have some leverage and should be able to get them to rescind their decisions or take your business elsewhere. Read "Thaw out your frozen credit" for details." (Liz Pullium Weston)

As a husband and financial leader of our family this is mirrors the practice followed by us - a household that includes our elder daughter (age 31) and one of our 3 sons (age 28). My wife is age 57 and I am age 60.

Why do we have 1 mouth, but 2 ears?

Some time ago a scribe wrote the words "God has given us one mouth and two ears; so we should listen twice as much as we speak. James 1:19-20 tells us "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God."

I wonder how we can help others when we are motoring along, mouth in high gear "sharing" our own wisdom? How often do we think we lead when we are busy opening our mouth? Proverbs 18:21 says "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Abraham Lincoln once said "It is better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and resolve all doubt."

Listening to what others express, gives you perspective. Listening to what others feel, gives you insight. Listening to others concepts, gives you oversight. Listing to the hopes of others, gives you compassion. Listening leads us to follow. To follow the expressed and unexpressed needs of others to understanding them. Listening gives us the ability to receive the full meaning of what is said, not just hear the words spoken. Fulfilling the needs of those who surround you, gives you leadership.

God wants us to be leaders. How can we lead if we cannot follow?

Philippians 2:1-8Message 1-4 If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. 5-8 Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion. ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡ ‡

NKJV 1 Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. <†> <†> <†> <†> <†> <†> <†> <†> <†> <†> <†> <†>

Ephesians 5:25-29 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church... (NIV) <†> <†> "That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong." ~ William J. H. Boetcker <†> <†> "Surrender as much of yourself as you understand to as much of God as you understand." <†> <†>

Heavenly Father, We pray today for the mercy and love You give us. Open our hearts and minds to You. Give us the grace to accept your mercy. As we live each day, give us the personal courage to listen to the concerns of others and help them find the solutions to which they are entitled as Your children and our brothers and sisters. Amen.

by Ron Sires, member of the Billy/Delworth First Baptist Church Tuesday Night Home Group

The Cleveland Browns beat the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl?!

Can you believe that headline?! When did the Cleveland Browns ever beat the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl?

While I was creating a couple of personalized "NFL Super Bowl" books for a couple of children it dawned on me that this was possibly the only way the Browns COULD beat the Patriots in a Super Bowl - in the mind of a 10-year-old. More believable was the request by the 3-year-old that the Browns beat the Steelers in the Super Bowl.

The Cleveland fans would certainly be as ecstatic as the fans in this fictional personalized book! I'm not a fan of any of these teams so Cleveland I hope some day your really do have this honor and thrill!!

So, it goes without saying that all NFL teams' fans (or for that matter Soccer fans - G-O-A-L! (Soccer)) could create their perfect Super Bowl for their team with these personalized books. I have even prepared these books for ADULTS!!

Click here to create your perfect Super Bowl!

With affection to Cleveland ....

Ray Delworth

wiilovewebkinzfun@yahoo.com

twitter: wiilovesuccess

skype: billpayer1

Do You Have Hope!

How many of us say "I can't do it"? What are your "can nots" in life? Take a look at this and I dare say you will never say "I can't" ever again!!

I CAN 101 =
http://bit.ly/10sErx

Thank you Mark Aaron Murnahan for providing me this inspiration.

Wii Love Success,
Rachel & Ray Delworth
RachelRay@genefreedom.com
888.312.6668
http://wiilove.genefreedom.com

A Monday In The Life of ...

Hello My Friends, Family and Followers:
Here's a typical Monday for me anymore ....

3/23/09 - finished morning babysitting duty ... michelle and jennifer off with kids to get decorations for this weekend's triple birthday party; late to start wii fit - now wii age 34 wowwwwwww awesome - and I feel it too!! Wii fit - still shaky with Yoga on left foot balance exercises, but new records for half moon and standing knee poses. Speaking of balance (as in Wii balance board), I balanced both trust checking accounts in record time, yeah. Wii fit news - new record on downward facing dog yoga pose http://tinyurl.com/bvl3mq. wii fit done - 33 minutes - new record in slalom skiing and ski jump; still troube with snow boarding. Now y'all can buy multiple personalized books at big discounts on price and shipping http://tinyurl.com/db3u76. Added listings to website for multiple book order discounts. Updated CraigsListings http://tinyurl.com/c4m6us and http://tinyurl.com/dk937z. Fun way to describe Twitter - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN2HAroA12w. Delivered to post office this weekends' sales of personalized books, wholesale items and webkinz.

Your laugh for the day - gives new meaning to "Bad Parking" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uLECuGK07U&feature=player_embedded.

Now off the computer for the day and on to dinner and "Dancing With The Stars" ...

Just A Mom?

JUST A MOM?
A woman, renewing her driver's license and was asked by the woman at Registry to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. 'What I mean is, ' explained the woman at Registry, 'do you have a job or are you just a ...?' 'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman. 'I'm a Mom.' 'We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it,' Said the recorder emphatically. I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, Efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, 'Official Interrogator' or 'City Registrar.' 'What is your occupation?' she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. 'I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.' The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. 'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,'just what you do in your field?' Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, 'I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?). And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers. And the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.'

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mom.'

Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations', and great grandmothers 'Executive Senior Research Associates?' I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts 'Associate Research Assistants.' Please send this to another Mom, Grandmother, Aunt, and other friends you know.

May your troubles be less,
Your blessing be more,
And nothing but happiness come through your door!

Be kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. You never know when a moment and a few sincere words can have an impact on a life.

unknown story-teller

The most primal example of unending love

On this Sunday I'm glad I received this link to a clip from one of Barbara Walters shows. It is a word picture for me of God's unending love for me, even when I'm in my "wild", "untamed" persona.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiGKWoJi5qM

Enjoy my friends, family, and followers .... Let me know which was your first reaction:

1.) Aaaaahhhh
2.) Tears
3.) Oh no, no, no!
4.) OMG

Advice for Grandparents

1. Give a godly example
2. Remember important occasions
3. Always love your grandchildren’s parents no matter what!
4. Never show favoritism
5. Develop a personal relationship with each Grandchild


Wisdom brought to you from Ray and Rachel Delworth, grandparents to 10 and parents to 5
To order email wiilovewebkinzfun.com and request link to buy Bunny Chair Music Box

Characteristic of my ideal husband

My daughter wonders ....

In my definite opinion, the qualities of an honorable man are sincere honesty, virtue, and modesty. Honesty is important to me because in a long-term relationship it is the foundation of trust. Virtue is important to me because it reflects my ideal husband's inner being. Modesty is an important characteristic because it portrays a selfless attitude in a long-term relationship.
It is important that my ideal husband be honest with me in not only his feelings, but also in his actions, and his work ethic. Being disgruntled in a situation and not sharing his true feelings with me is not being honest. When someone is not honest with his or her feelings it may lead to bitterness. Over time bitterness may lead to a weakened relationship. My idea of an honest action is illustrated by the following example. When my ideal husband tells me he is going to his grandmother's house to visit and in reality visits a few friends he has broken my trust. I would rather he tells me he is also going to visit his friends. By not telling me he wants to visit his friends, it makes me question how I can trust him with bigger issues. A man who is punctual and makes an honest attempt to work hard for his employer is more likely to demonstrate these honest qualities at home.
To me, virtue consists of bravery, loyalty, and constantly striving for good. An ideal husband would show me his bravery by admitting he was wrong when appropriate, and then taking action to correct what was done or said. A loyal husband would put my and my children's essential needs first. My ideal husband would never consider adultery. Striving for good means striving for God's heart and following after Jesus. He would regularly attend bible studies and serve with us in our local community.
A modest husband would have a humble attitude with reference to money management, the purchase of possessions, and his mannerisms. With his money he would not brag about how much he earns or how much he spends. When a man boasts about his financial affairs he is likely to make enemies, and that does not demonstrate humility. Flaunting extravagant possessions shows little respect for those less fortunate. To illustrate, when serving in a soup kitchen it would be demeaning to those being served to brag about his gold watch or recent vacation.
My ideal husband's mannerisms would demonstrate respect for me. For example, when accompanied by my husband a beautiful woman passes us. I would expect him not to look at her with lustful eyes.
For me, marriage is an everlasting commitment. To have an honorable man as a loving husband assures me of this goal.